Subconscious Mind Power

Emotional Responsibility – You are largely responsible for how you feel and act.

At the heart of almost all emotional and behavioral change is Emotional Responsibility. 

Your feelings and reactions are greatly influenced by the attitudes and beliefs that you currently hold as true. Some of those beliefs you hold, but no longer question, may be untrue and unhelpful to you.

Being ‘largely’ responsible does not mean that another person, situation or event sometimes causes your behaviour. What this means is that there are some disorders like Bipolar 

Depression that are organic in nature; meaning that it’s to do with the person’s biology or genetic makeup. To change how we feel, understanding Emotional Responsibility is very important.

The principle of Emotional Responsibility can be difficult to accept, particularly if you are going through a difficult time or have experienced a personal tragedy. It is natural to feel angry, sad, depressed or hurt in response to people, accidents, illness and other challenges in life. Notice that people feel and experience contrasting emotions when they experience the same problem. Therefore it is not the event or another person that ‘makes’ you feel what you feel.

If it was true that events caused emotional responses or feelings, then everyone experiencing the same event would experience the same feeling BUT they don’t. At the heart of your emotional experience are your beliefs.

How you think about something or someone is generally down to you. The consequential feelings and behaviours are also generally down to you. Uncomfortable, but generally true, nevertheless.

How to become emotionally responsible:

It’s natural to not want to feel bad about yourself or like everything is your fault. That’s why emotional projection is considered a “defense mechanism” — you might not even be fully aware you’re doing it but, subconsciously, your mind is looking for anyone else to blame but yourself.

And it’s a defense mechanism you likely developed Trusted Source in adolescence.

But if you want to change your circumstances and build healthier relationships, becoming more emotionally responsible can go a long way.

Emotional responsibilities :

1. I am responsible for how I feel.
   Helpful: I understand that my feelings come from all kinds of sources, not just your actions. I have the agency to change my own feelings.
   Harmful: No one can help me to feel happy or alleviate pain. I don’t need anyone, and no one will be there for me. Everything I feel is my fault. If I can’t meet all of my needs, my needs will never be met.
2. You are responsible for how you feel.
   Helpful: Not everything you feel is something I can change. You have the agency to meet your own needs, and I am not at fault for every single thing you feel.
   Harmful: Making you happy or alleviating your pain is not my problem. I can do whatever I want, and whatever you feel about that your problem. My actions aren’t responsible for your pain. Everything you feel is your fault.

A reaction to emotional dependence: Emotional responsibility is really just a belief in emotional independence: my emotions are wholly independent of your actions. Emotional projection is really just a belief in emotional dependence: my emotions are wholly dependent on your actions.

When looked at from this view, it becomes obvious both of these models are sometimes true and both are sometimes false.

It is frightening to me that we’ve started to dub emotional independence as emotional responsibility. This is so indicative of our time: ours is the era of individuality and figuring out your identity. Ours is also the era of atomization and isolation.

Independence is an understandable and necessary step towards growth from total dependence, but it is a step. It is a movement in the direction of a healthy equilibrium. Healthy balance is the goal.

If you blame others too much, or you take blame for others too much, the helpful side of emotional independence can help you. If you feel isolated and alienated and alone, the helpful side emotional dependence can help you.

Dr. Sunetra Javkar 9820373281 Maharashtra — Hypnotherapist, Life Coach, mind counselor & Naturopath. Past life regression therapist & Crystal Therapist.
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